my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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