I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
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