Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
