I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
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