dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Randomize
