If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
YAS. BRING CRAB.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
