everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
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