This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I'm jealous of your bromance
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize