Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Randomize
