I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
