The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
