My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
