Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
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