I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
