It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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