Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Randomize
