Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Randomize
