These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Randomize
