Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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