Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
