Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
