We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I still have a little drunk in my system
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
