I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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