he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
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