You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Randomize
