Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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