haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
