I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
