That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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