is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
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I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
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I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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