Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Randomize
