Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
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