need another drink. this is the easiest way
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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