Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
i now understand why vodka
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
