Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.