It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house