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How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Randomize
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