i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
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