I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
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