is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
