so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
