I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Randomize
