You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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