so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize