I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
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