There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
