Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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