shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
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