she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
Randomize
