I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
