Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
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Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
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My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize