i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Randomize
