was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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