Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
