My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
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