I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
