Rock
Scissors
Fuck
My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize