I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
