Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Randomize
