She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
Randomize
