going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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