It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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