Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
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