lets start a swedish sibling band together
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
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