Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
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He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
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On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
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