Well apparently he's into motor boating.
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
