hotel room ftw
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Randomize
