I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize