Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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